Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I Am Such A Whore

As you all know, I recently acquired a cat from my sister and things have been going much better than the first week did. That was until this most recent incident. Here we go again. I happened to be at an apartment yesterday that contained one dog and one cat. If you know me, you know that I really like animals and I love to play with them, pet them, shave them, etc. So naturally, I spent a large amount of the time playing with and petting the dog and the cat. When it became time to leave for my next destination, I realized that I had not yet fed my cat its soft food for the day. Being the considerate pet owner that I am, I went way out of my way just to make my cat's day a little bit better by stopping by the apartment, feeding her, and petting her for a bit. But of course, things didn't go as planned. When I walked through the door of my apartment, Shelby came right up to me and began rubbing on my leg as she usually does. This was until she realized that I had been seeing other animals on the side. She took a step back, looked me in the eye, stepped back up, sniffed my leg again, and then walked away in disgust. She then proceeded to smell the backpack that I had with me, my shoes, and my clothes when I took them off to change. Upon smelling each item, I received a look of disgust. She looked at me as if I was a whore. Like "You mean to tell me that I am here all day by myself, no petting, no playing and then you run off with these other skeezer pets? What am I not good enough for you? Am I not furry enough? Am I not cuddly enough? Does that slut cat that you pet all night last night have a sleeker coat than me? Tell me....I want to know." If that cat could talk, that is exactly what it would tell me. It then proceeded to hide in the closet until I left. I just wanted to tell it that I made a special trip to come see her and to come give her some good food, but instead, I got caught in my own web of lies. I am a filthy,no good, cheating whore and Shelby knows it. Look away....I am a monster.

2 Comments:

Anonymous matt said...

lindner was right!

9:27 AM  
Blogger Mikey-D said...

Unfortunately, Lindner said I was a whore in a whole other context and screwed my chances of dating a really good looking woman. Thanks "buddy".

10:04 AM  

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