Tuesday, April 26, 2005

My Pants Are Hairy

Well I got a cat this past weekend and it has definitely been an interesting few days. The biggest headline to report is the massive amount of cat fur that is everywhere. I know cats shed and that this is the season for it and all, but this cat sheds more than you have ever seen. I dont know how that thing isnt bald yet. I mean with one stroke of my hand across its back I have more cat fur on my hand than most cats have on their entire body. Can you shave cats? I mean I guess you could have them professionally shaved, but I mean can I shave it myself? I figure that I would have to knock it out first because this cat already bites a lot and that is when I am trying to be nice to it. There is no telling what sort of injuries I would sustain if I tried to shave it while it was conscious. You may all think that I am kidding about this, but after this morning I am dead serious. I put on my favorite pair of black,wool dress pants this morning and by the time I left the house it appeared that I had on a pair of white, wool dress pants. I was completely covered in fur. So I took the lent brush out to the car with me, but with the amount of hair I had on my pants, it was like peeing into the wind...pointless. So I decided that from now on I will get ready in my underwear in the mornings and then just before I slip out the door, I will race against the cat to get my pants on and be out the door before it can shed its entire coat onto my pant legs. The only other real option is to wear some sort of protective sleeve over my pant legs to prevent cat to pant leg contact. So things couldnt get any worse right??? Wrong. As I was running late this morning I only had time for a bagel. And what do stubborn, cat hair covered people put on their bagels? Well honey of course. The stickiest substance that can be found in my kitchen. So the next thing you know I have honey all over my hands while I am driving down the road, I am trying to rub cat fur off of my pants, and now I have fur stuck to the honey all over my hands. I feel like I have been tarred and feathered. I have been honeyed and furred. If anybody would like to volunteer some time this weekend, I am taking applications for cat restrainers and cat bite medics, as I will be shaving the cat. In conclusion, I would like to personally thank my sister for passing this cat along to me and I hope you had just as good of a morning as I did.

10 Comments:

Blogger Angie said...

Well Mike I would personally like to welcome you to the wonderful world of owning a cat! Seeing as I have four grown cats and now five kittens at the house, I can more than understand where you're coming from. A few words of advice. 1.) No kitty allowed in the bedroom! 2.) I get ready in the morning's with a town wrap on and put my clothes on last! 3.) You'll never get rid of the massive amounts of cat hair, isn't it annoying?! Unless it's a short haired kitty, but in your case it sounds like its not! All I can say is good luck to ya!!!!

6:36 AM  
Blogger Mikey-D said...

It is about to be a short haired kitty after I get done with it.

6:39 AM  
Anonymous mfos said...

One more reason for me to never get a cat...

7:19 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

That's what he said...

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got served!.......LOL
Oh and one more thing. WOOL pants in the spring. Cmon now Michael....get with the season. Its time for linen.

8:33 PM  
Blogger mattrose said...

For one thing , I always thought more of you. A cat. Seriously, you disappoint me. Cats suck and everyone knows that. As far as shaving, if your not going to euthanize it, which I highly suggest, try this cut. It makes it much more interesting. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/cattrim2.html

9:48 PM  
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