Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Mirrors Are Overrated

I only cut my hair every three weeks or so. That is all I really have time for. Actually, that is a lie. Let's restate that. I cut my hair every three weeks or so because I would much rather go home and watch Friends after work than get my haircut. OK, back to the point. In three weeks, the length of the hair on my head is very manageable. The hair on my neck is a whole other animal. And I do mean animal. In case you didn't know, the hair on your neck is the fastest growing hair on the human body. Yes, even more so than that wily back hair of yours Billy. So this morning I decided I would lengthen the amount of time between haircuts by cutting the hair on my neck using a razor and a hand mirror. Man was that a mistake. I have never felt so uncoordinated in my entire life. Trying to shave your own neck while everything is all flipped around in the mirror is like trying to pee in the dark. No matter how much you concentrate on hitting the target, you always misfire. I couldnt even turn the razor in the direction that I wanted. Wait, is right left or is left right. Wait, which side of my head is this. Oh crap, I just plugged myself(plug: to shave a small portion of hair unintenionally). You kow when you go to get your haircut and they ask you if you want it squared or rounded in the back. Well I just added a new option. I think the new diagonal plug cut is really going to come into style. Next time, I think I will just take the 20 minutes and get my damn haircut.


Blogger Angie said...

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8:16 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

Yeah I agree, I have that problem often, I just can’t seem to shave the back of my neck right, and it sucks! JUST KIDDING!!!! There’s another optional easy solution to this problem, growing up with mostly guy friends I’ve heard this story on many occasion. Why not ask someone to do it per say if you can’t get into a hair cut. Or you go could with the forever infamous duck tail look, I don’t know, your call. Mirrors are deceiving though, I mean lets take today for instance…I’m getting ready in the overly crowded locker room at the gym, I realize I’m running super late so I just dry my hair, throw on my clothes forgo the make up and bam the mirror told me I looked okay enough for work….then I realize when I get in the car, my skirts on backward…Now please explain that phenomenon to me! Oh well, I think it’s one of those days, if it makes you feel any better, I constantly miss my elbows when shaving, what’s a girl to do?!!!

9:57 AM  
Blogger mattrose said...

I have a problem of a different sort because I have a haircut that is the exact opposite. I cherish my neck hair and and frankly do not care for the hair on the top of my head. I shave my head myself in my 5x6 apartment above the meat shop in the bad part of town. It the room has a bed, a drain and a chin-up bar. It has one weak lightbulb in the middle of the room that flickers on and off sporatically. The hair on the back of my neck is long and luxurious and I braid it into a ponytail. I then do push-ups and chin-ups all night long while listening to 80´s dance music sung by Mexican artists while continuesly eating sub-par cuts of semi-raw meat. Im not crazy Im just clear in my thoughts.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

You get your hair cut every three weeks? If only I had that kind of time...

8:56 AM  

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